The Guidance Counselor I Never Had

For many years, I was involved with a fantastic Los Angeles-based organization called The Fulfillment Fund. The Fulfillment Fund matches students who are in 8th grade with area professionals for one-on-one mentoring throughout high school. They provide many means of support to help the students.

The College Couseling program is one of the stand-outs for me. It is run by an energetic firecracker of a woman, Sherry Banks, a veteran college counselor and educator who manages to make the process of choosing and getting into the right college both fun and serious business.

I met Sherry when I took my first student, Maria, to meet with her. Maria was in 10th grade at the time and from the beginning, Sherry presented the choice of colleges as a reflection of the personal preferences as well as the academic level and needs of the students. The "personal preferences" part was, I am sad to say, an epiphany for me. I had always known, though Boston University is a great school with top academic offerings, that I had attended the wrong college. But I hadn't thought about why or been able to imagine having gone a different way.

As I sat there with Sherry and Maria, talking about Maria's needs, I was surprised to find myself feeling a little jealous of Maria. The "why" of my mistake was clear: I had needed a Sherry Banks when I was Maria's age and I hadn't been lucky enough to have one. But then again, couldn't all high school students use that kind of help? How many are lucky enough to stumble into the right school on their own? I wasn't.

In the years that followed, helping Maria choose which colleges she would apply for and then "the one" she would attend, I pictured myself having a Sherry Banks, and mentally went down the road not taken. In that alternate universe, I attended a small liberal arts college with an intimate, creative vibe, a college by coincidence like the school Maria ended up attending.

As I drove away from dropping Maria off at school and getting her settled, I knew she was in the right place. I also knew there was no blame to lay for where I had ended up. I had gone to the school my brother had gone to. I felt I knew Boston well because my cousin had also gone there. I had made the best decision I could at the time.

And I was happy for Maria, that she had had Sherry. Sherry had not only helped her become clear about what type of school she wanted to attend, but also encouraged her to stretch for a college that her high school counselor had emphatically (and wrongly, of course) told her was out of her league.

When I am consulting with clients about their next career move, Sherry Banks is never far from my mind. I want to help them find a place that fits them and to stretch for a position they might not otherwise try for.

I want to be for them the guidance counselor I never had.