If you are an adult dealing with a high school student- or an even younger person- I BEG you not to try to temper the student’s big dreams, no matter how unrealistic they seem.
I realize if you are a parent, you want to protect your child at all costs from disappointment and heartbreak.
And if you are a guidance counselor (the only person they likely will encounter whose job it is to give them advice), the worst thing that can happen is that you advise a student to apply to a list of colleges and they don’t get into any of them.
But the voice of reason is often the voice of doom. Or mediocrity. Settling.
And not allowing young people to dream big dreams and really reach for them is like telling them to give up now, just don’t try too hard.
Everyone faces disappointment and heartbreak at some point in their lives- it’s inevitable. Why disappoint them and break their hearts now by telling them they won’t be able to do something great? They may not accomplish the big dream they have now- what life presents often changes the dream, though it doesn’t necessarily make it any less ambitious- but in that trying, that reaching, that believing they can do anything, they are much more likely to accomplish something great than if they listen to the naysayers and shrink their goals.
Instead of trying to get them to be more reasonable, why not really listen to them and help them make a plan? Or give them an opportunity to try out their dream in some way? If they want to be Bill Gates, get them a junked old computer and let them take it apart to see how it works. If they want to be Oprah, suggest they create a talk show in the basement and then videotape it for them. Let them feel their dream, let them taste it.
If you are a guidance counselor, there’s no harm in getting students to put a “safety school” on their college application list, but if they get into every school they apply to, that’s just as bad, in my opinion, as getting into none.
If you are a parent, just be there for them when they are disappointed and heartbroken. Help them lick their wounds and, when they are ready, encourage them to get up and take another step toward their goal.
And then when they are standing at the podium or giving an interview to Sports Illustrated or Wired or People Magazine, they can thank you for believing in them. Not just you parents, but you guidance counselors and you teachers and you coaches and you mentors and you friends of the family. Think about it. They never thank the ones who tell them not to bother to try, do they?
July 19, 2008
I run into this a lot with my clients who are just out of college or grad school and are looking for their first all-important “career” job. These grads get frustrated because they want to work at such & such a type of company or even a specific company and their personnel agency or headhunter (aka executive search professional) keeps sending them on interviews for completely different types of jobs.
Okay, here’s the deal…
Personnel agencies and headhunters don’t work for you.
Their clients are the companies they work for who pay them a commission to find someone appropriate to fill a specific job. They are not going to call Yahoo and pitch you as a candidate in case there is a suitable opening for you. They may want Yahoo’s business, but they won’t be using you to get it.
So what do you do if you have very specific needs- say, a company that you have been dying to work at?
If their website doesn’t contain a job board, you can call the company and schmooze the receptionist into telling you who at the company is responsible for filling the company’s openings. Contact them directly with a cover letter that is specific (about why you want to work at that company and what you have to offer for likely openings) and a resume that shines like a well-polished gem.
Be gracious and passionate and eye-catching and convey the unique qualities that you possess that make you someone they shouldn’t pass up the opportunity to at least interview. (Hire someone to write that cover letter and resume if you are not able to get it done right- it is worth the effort and expense if you really want to get your foot properly wedged in the door to your dream company).
Follow up via phone with the internal person and if they tell you there are no openings, ask for an informational interview to find out about the field, companies like that one and how to get the right opportunity at the right place. You never know. You could end up with a job out of that interview and, at the very least, you will have good solid insider information to help you on your search.
Be gracious with the personnel agency, too, and don’t rule out the possibility that one of their clients may have the exact right position for you. But take my word for it- the agencies don’t stay in business by landing you your dream job. That’s YOUR responsibility. When the two coincide and they find you your dream job, that’s excellent. When they don’t, candidates often get frustrated. Instead, they should just move along.
July 14, 2008
For many years, I was involved with a fantastic Los Angeles-based organization called The Fulfillment Fund. The Fulfillment Fund matches students who are in 8th grade with area professionals for one-on-one mentoring throughout high school. They provide many means of support to help the students.
The College Couseling program is one of the stand-outs for me. It is run by an energetic firecracker of a woman, Sherry Banks, a veteran college counselor and educator who manages to make the process of choosing and getting into the right college both fun and serious business.
I met Sherry when I took my first student, Maria, to meet with her. Maria was in 10th grade at the time and from the beginning, Sherry presented the choice of colleges as a reflection of the personal preferences as well as the academic level and needs of the students. The "personal preferences" part was, I am sad to say, an epiphany for me. I had always known, though Boston University is a great school with top academic offerings, that I had attended the wrong college. But I hadn't thought about why or been able to imagine having gone a different way.
As I sat there with Sherry and Maria, talking about Maria's needs, I was surprised to find myself feeling a little jealous of Maria. The "why" of my mistake was clear: I had needed a Sherry Banks when I was Maria's age and I hadn't been lucky enough to have one. But then again, couldn't all high school students use that kind of help? How many are lucky enough to stumble into the right school on their own? I wasn't.
In the years that followed, helping Maria choose which colleges she would apply for and then "the one" she would attend, I pictured myself having a Sherry Banks, and mentally went down the road not taken. In that alternate universe, I attended a small liberal arts college with an intimate, creative vibe, a college by coincidence like the school Maria ended up attending.
As I drove away from dropping Maria off at school and getting her settled, I knew she was in the right place. I also knew there was no blame to lay for where I had ended up. I had gone to the school my brother had gone to. I felt I knew Boston well because my cousin had also gone there. I had made the best decision I could at the time.
And I was happy for Maria, that she had had Sherry. Sherry had not only helped her become clear about what type of school she wanted to attend, but also encouraged her to stretch for a college that her high school counselor had emphatically (and wrongly, of course) told her was out of her league.
When I am consulting with clients about their next career move, Sherry Banks is never far from my mind. I want to help them find a place that fits them and to stretch for a position they might not otherwise try for.
I want to be for them the guidance counselor I never had.
July 10, 2008
When I tell people who are already in the entertainment industry that one of the things I do is help recent grads and others get jobs in the entertainment industry, they often ask me, with tongue only sort-of planted in cheek, if I can help them get OUT of the entertainment industry.
If you aren’t in entertainment, then you might think they must be kidding. But, alas, they are not. Here are some reasons people might want to get out of entertainment:
THE PAY when you first start out, especially when you are in support positions, can be terrible.
THE PEOPLE in the industry aren’t all nice, reasonable or even sane.
THE FINISHED PRODUCT isn’t always something to be proud of.
THE HOURS are sometimes long and unpredictable, sometimes even brutal and around-the-clock.
THE PHYSICAL TOLL is often too much. The physical nature of the job, as in the case of many crew positions (camera department, art department, costumes, electrical, etc.), makes it difficult for people to continue the work past the point in their lives when they are young and hungry.
The good news- or maybe just the telling news- is that those entertainment industry veterans who ask me about getting out of the industry rarely do. What keeps them there? What is the upside?
THE PAY when you get established can be very good.
THE PEOPLE in the industry are often some of the most generous and creative you will ever meet.
THE FINISHED PRODUCT is sometimes something you can be very proud of.
THE FREEDOM you have when you are freelance to take time off when you want to can make up for the long hours when you do work. You are ultimately your own boss.
THE PHYSICAL TOLL can often be worked around. When you reach a certain level, you can hire people who are young and hungry to do the heavy lifting.
And when all else fails, there’s always THE SWAG. I am right now wearing a FIGHT CLUB tee shirt that I received when I worked as the Executive Assistant to the Executive Producer of FIGHT CLUB.
I also own a MR. & MRS. SMITH baseball cap from my tenure with his company. And maybe even a FREE WILLY plushy toy. Can you imagine??
So to those who are thinking about getting into the industry: I hope this gives you an idea of what you are getting- and not getting- when you get into the biz. Because I’m not giving you my FIGHT CLUB tee shirt. No way.
July 7, 2008
You say you hate your job, yet there you still are… Why?
It’s not just about the money. It’s NEVER just about the money.
Maybe it’s fear- you know, the devil you know being better than the devil you don’t know. Maybe in spite of your insistence that there is nothing you like about your job, there is something. You love three out of your 100 co-workers- or you love just one, but that commaraderie is something you can’t imagine living without, the endless happy hours spent commisserating over margaritas about the horror and misery that is your shared work life.
Maybe you really like dealing with your total jackass of a boss, proving each day that you can conquer the beast, or at least survive him. It’s a challenge. One you hate, but that you simply can’t imagine not waking up to. Or it could be simply the familiarity. In spite of your lust for change, sitting surrounded by the same four walls day in and day out for years provides some kind of comfort in your otherwise chaotic life.
Or you could just like not having to face the felling of fear that just the idea of change causes to bubble up in your gut. (A common cause people stay stuck in many situations that are no longer happy and/or healthy.)
As you embark on a job or career change, you need to get clear about what’s kept you there for however long you’ve been there. That will help clarify what you need in your next position. For instance, if you love the challenge of your jerky boss, you should seek out a job with another challenge, a more joyful- or at the very least, less dreadful- one.
And if you are still there because you are sharing the same musty foxhole with a close friend who is equally dissatisfied, you need to talk to her about embarking on her own transition process. If she is not ready, you must gather your courage and go first, go it alone. She may not like it, but once you find your way out, she may just get inspired and get out, too. And you can meet for happy hour, a truly happy hour, where you both come from jobs that give you personal satisfaction, and not just something to complain about.
July 5, 2008
I’ve been working a full time job for all of my adult life. In addition, I have always had several side projects which I actively pursue, not to mention a personal life and hobbies and all that. I am a very good multi-tasker. I can keep my focus on short term tasks and long term goals. I am adept at making lists and carving out time to get each item on the list done.
Okay, I was. Last month we picked up our now 7-month-old new bundle of joy from Taiwan. Since this is a blog about career transition, I will refrain from sharing the details but simply say the following summary:
- We went through a lot of effort to get him.
- He is generally a great baby, though he is teething so tres cranky a lot of the time.
- We adore him.
But since I am currently his solo full-time caregiver and he is extremely limited in what he can do on his own (going to the bathroom in a diaper, crying, skootching awkwardly across the floor, etc.), I am completely unable to keep up my juggling act. Sure, I get a few minutes here and there to run to my computer and bill a client for work I did before we got the baby or contact a client to set our next meeting. I am even- right now- getting to blog while the boy sleeps.
But it’s not like it was. And until I get some fabulous childcare in place, it can’t be. It will be soon, but it won’t be tomorrow. So I’ll have to focus on being a good mom and let the work wait if need be. That is my version of Life Balance at the moment. We’ll see how it evolves with the bambino in the picture…
June 8, 2008
You are in the middle of a CAREER TRANSITION if:
- You just graduated from college and you are trying to land your first job- or even just figure out what that first job should be.
- You are a mid-career professional unsatisfied with your current line of work and you know you need to make a change. But how? And to what?
- You have been out of the job market for a while (raising a kid, retired, recovering from an illness) and you want to get back in to the professional world, albeit maybe doing something different from what you did before you left the work world.
You have come to the right place. This is where I will be sharing information just for you. Advice, guidance, cautionary tales… all designed to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.
Feel free to comment, ask questions, suggest topics. This is for you.
June 8, 2008
This blog is a companion to momentumadvantage.com, the site for Momentum Advantage Career Services. I am a Career Advisor & Strategist, Personal Marketing Specialist, and Transition Facilitator. I also sometimes add Life Purpose Detective, but I have mixed feelings about that. I’m sure I’ll address that in an upcoming blog.
June 8, 2008
